Hi, if my user account did not give it away, I am going to be using this as a throwaway.

So a little about me. I am an AMAB, i quite frankly don’t know the proper ettiqute for being in an internet community so please forgive me for any mistakes. I am still exploring things but only have a general idea about everything.

I have lived most of my life in India and it has been a pretty good one so far. I honestly can’t pinpoint one moment where I definitely wanted to be a girl, but the strongest I have ever felt was when I prayed desparately as a 14 yr old to be changed into a girl. I was bullied for being a little feminine according to my peers by being called trans which was still treated as a slur at that time.

Aside from that, trans people are still not accepted by atleast my immediate community, even those I know of are ostracized, even my own family is against them. I don’t even know what gender dysphoria even feels like so once again I am confused.

If I have to answer honestly, I would love to be a girl if I could restart my life from scratch. I often dreamed of exchanging lives with a girl. But I do not hate my genitals and I don’t hate being a guy, so I am a litte confused. So is just a fantasy or am I trans? Can someone please guide me in the right direction.

  • Baby Shoggoth [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    Also, “trans without dysphoria” doesn’t always mean that you don’t actually have dysphoria. this link and actually that whole website go into a lot of the ways that you might say “i don’t have dysphoria” but end up realizing later you totally did.

    I used to say that, too. And there are a whole bunch of things that i had misattributed to something other than gender dysphoria (blaming physical features of myself that aren’t gender related, when those don’t bother me when i present feminine) or just something where i didn’t experience the dysphoria because i had never experienced the euphoria, and didn’t really understand that was a way you could feel.

    I didn’t start transitioning until right before my 42nd birthday. Looking back at my life, the signs that i was trans and all the dysphoria were always there, it was all just internalized dysphoria or feelings i didn’t understand.