This actually happened…
Anon: “Haha I bet they cant solve this case!”
Detective after investigating for 5 minutes: “Alright pack it up, boys. Natural Causes. He had a pre-existing condition of lead poisoning. Anyways, anyone wanna go get a donut with me?”
Do not do this. Helium is a scarce resource and those balloons create pollution and kill animals when they come down.
Helium is no longer all that scarce but balloons definitely create pollution and kill animals
I’ll just shoot myself with a gun made of ice instead
We already have ice that can kill you on a hair trigger, it’s called yelling at snowy mountains
Smart. We just need a 3d printer that can print ice
I was just gonna make a mold of a gun I already have and freeze some water in it
The helium thing are my exact first thoughts
The gun is going to come down somewhere. Gravity is a bitch like that. So, coastline, and make sure the winds are out to sea. Not just the surface winds, but also the winds aloft. When the gun does eventually come down, it is still going to be connected to the balloons, and will be floating at the surface for days. A balloon mass this large could attract attention. You’ll want some kind of water soluble string to drop the gun and ensure it sinks.
As it ascends, the balloon cluster is going to show up on doorbell cameras. The noise of the gunshot is going to draw witnesses with phone cameras. At the very least, you need a moonless night. Fog bank and low ceilings can help. Definitely don’t want to try this during the day.
Thinking about it, you could really fuck with local authorities.
Drench yourself in the water at the shore, wear clothes with tags torn out, and have a notebook in your pocket with pages after pages of random numbers. Police and intelligence agency staff will work all-nighters to figure out who was the spy they found and who shot them.
Mary Glockkins
Or just don’t do it next to beach front housing
deleted by creator
Nevermind, I read this and thought it was accurate lol: https://lemmy.world/comment/26804286
>buy Helium
>around 10,000 balloon
>gun
>attach balloons filled with helium to self
>shoot yourself
>let the corpse fly away
>no one will ever know
Thank me later
One day, ballons deflate
Corpse comes raining down out of the sky
No one will know what the fuck is going on
Thank me later
I’d like to thank you now.
Thank you.
How could I thank you later?
When you’re both in hell silly.
Unless you pay cash for the balloons and somehow get helium from somewhere without a bottle deposit there will be a paper trail for the setup.
I think they can tell it was self inflicted gunshot but yeah, the missing gun will be a mystery.
What if you don’t hold it normally? Use a type of ammo from a weapon normally too long for suicide and connect something to the trigger so you can reach it, or wrap the balloons string around it.
If you watch enough true crime you can probably work out how to make your suicide look like a murder, or at the very least leave them confused for a while.
use two of the same model with the same bullets and do a double tap to the back of your head
Ghouls. Missing items at crime or accident scenes happens. People come across the scene and help themselves.
Hey I remember seeing this on csi and bones and law and order and…
There is an episode in the show Elementary that tells a similar story. Person shoots self on bridge, gun connected to weight and wire and falls into river. Mystery “created”.
Needlessly over thought… please continue.
There is a bullet in this dude but no gun?
Must not be related…
I swear someone did this years back
I remember hearing a similar story, but I’ve got no idea where to start with looking something like that up.
When the gun is coming down and found and being handed over to police they may find out that the ballistic signature of gun and bullet match.
Thank them later.
Apparently matching guns to bullets is mostly pseudoscience. They can match caliber and firearm type quite reliably but that’s about it.
The big problem is that bullets are soft. When they hit anything solid (like bone) they deform. Bullet matching is fine when the bullet is undamaged, but that generally isn’t the case, unless it missed and hit something soft and non-ablatative.
Trying to match damaged bullets is very unreliable.
Gasp! American cop apologia media had been lying to me?
Apparently CSI had lawyers on both sides cursing it 20+ years ago (when I did a uni module on forensics). Juries expected concise, absolute results. Instead they get probabilities, maybes, and shades of grey.
I dread to think what it is like now.
