All this talk of girls is such a bore, please bring back the grill discourse.
I’ll see what I can do!
Got the same sensationalised sleaze as The Sun. Genuinely well done
Thank you for engaging! I worked hard on it!
Seeking out a beautiful women to make love with can be challenge. The odds are good but the goods are odd in many cases.
Words of wisdom worth taking note of and incorporating into our daily lives.
MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It’s got to be hot. You’ve got to take your time. You’ve got to stir… gently and firmly. You’ve got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
LAYING A CARPET Laying a carpet is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you’re adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.
HANGING WALLPAPER Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
PUTTING UP A TENT Putting up a tent, is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an’… slip in to the old bag.
WASHING A CAR Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You’ve got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you’ve got a nice wet sponge.
ANSWERING THE PHONE Answering the phone, is… a little like making love to a beautiful woman. In that you’ve gotta… lift the receiver, put it to your ear, speak …loudly and clearly … oh, yes - and don’t forget to state your name.
BEING IN THERAPY And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You … get on the couch, string ’em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
BEING IN A CRASH Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is … very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it’s a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
GOING FISHING Of course, As you know, I’m a very keen fisherman myself. You know, I’ve often thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod over, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you’ve got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there’s plenty of shot in your bag.
Swiss Tony, is that you?
<3 Thanks for engaging, brother.
Girls aren’t real.
can’t touch em?
I’ve always said you’re one of the wisest people I know.
Yes, but then you also say you only know 4 people…
I know a ton of online guys as foolish as me and only a few that impress me with their wisdom.
Okay then! Thank you!
Not without consent
What if they’re asleep though?
Double no
Just checking!
is israel real?
As real as your genocidal intent.
Can’t touch em!
I heard you can catch them with a piece of cheese!
Big if true. Will try.
It is foretold.
Very well.
Same holds true for Furryosa. Except instead of cheese it’s jalapeños. She loves those things.
Good to know I think!
They’re not. That’s not intended to speak ill of them, I love women. But they’re like nature: best left observed and untouched to carry out their lives. Left to shit in the woods with the other tree spirits.
Oh shit, am I not supposed to feed them then? Have I accidentally made the girls in my life too used to human contact?
Yes and it’s likely whatever you’re giving them doesn’t have proper nutrition.
That’s my experience!
Thank you for the Sephora coupon
No problem, it’s free!
That I do not know, but the coupon is definitely free!
Yes
Thanks
Is fun hole communist?
Nope, Funhole is Fascist.
Ah
You can tell from some of the swastikas in the various content.
Goshdarn Computofascists
I hate those guys!
@pmjv i love girls! cleaning the needle, aligning the cartridge, using my ears or mr mobilek to know if they still run at the right speed…
no wait that is the tesla nc 470 hifi turntable
Y-yeah!
@pmjv spinning for me
hole in the middle
arm stands in an awkward position when it’s all overi guess it’s the lack of hair that determines the turntableness of the whole thing
@pmjv
(this is a ploy to get diogenes of sinope to bring me a shaved girl and yell “behold! a turntable!”)Best I can do is Korg
@pmjv i forgot “filling them with plastelina for anti-vibration purposes” and i hate myself for it
Guys! They’re just giving away Sephora now!
Heck yeah!
Hmmm no mention about Panda Girls tho!!
It’s literally the headline
Yeah, you have to read it like a hyroglyphix
Obvious dogwhistle tactics
Yeah!
Thank you for creating content!
Thanks for engaging!
CUM Publishing is on a rampage
Ethan Klein cheated, that was the last seal of the apocalypse, everything is allowed now!
Does that mean they’ll release the Ebsdein files?
They can’t, they’re banned on reddit.
Pissbiscuits. Maybe some good citizen will leak then to FCR then.
What’s the R for?
Review?
I am pandarded.
💭 I can’t believe I’m about to “thanks for the content!”
If it help, i have always believed in you!
DO IT!
