@neidu4@piefed.social , I meant that as a real question. It would be very nice if you could give some sort of an answer to the question! And if that downvote was by you… Why?
I do hope you’ll be able to respect what I identify (or: “identify”) as, if in some freaky way we are to ever meet. The feeling of “do I really look so male that this person was not even able to guess I’d be hurt by them referring to me as male?” takes several days to pass and is a very shitty feeling.
And of course, the whole thing of “identify as some gender”… At least I spent most of my life depressed and anxious precisely because I identified as male although I never was. Should not have built an identity on testicles and penis, probably :D A strong defence mechanism of the mind caused me to not have any clue of my actual gender. Now I’m living without depression for the first time in quarter a century.
But still: I was always transfeminine. Even when I still thought I was a cis guy and knew no better whatsoever. When I identified as male I was female. And now when I’ve changed how I identify, that has had zero effect on my gender. It’s easy to feel that calling it a gender identity kind of reduces it into a “decision”.
BTW, the meme in the post is a bit… Confusing, to say it nicely. One can alter one’s sex, but one cannot alter one’s gender. Maybe with some sort of lobotomy you could, but otherwise it’s immutable. A person who has “male” written in his brain as their gender when he is born is male all the way to his grave, regardless of whether he has testicles or ovaries. Or how much he tries to be something else. And a person who has “nonbinary” of some sort written in their brain is that sort of nonbinary throughout all their life. Regardless of what they decide. But of course you can get more understanding of your gender, and then alter the gender expression to better match with it.
I only know one (openly) trans person (as far as I know), and I’m able to remember her pronouns. I think I can probably manage a couple more people, at least.
@neidu4@piefed.social , I meant that as a real question. It would be very nice if you could give some sort of an answer to the question! And if that downvote was by you… Why?
No to both. Whatever someone identifies as is of no concern to me, especially so when it is someone I am unlikely to ever meet.
Happy to hear the answers :)
I do hope you’ll be able to respect what I identify (or: “identify”) as, if in some freaky way we are to ever meet. The feeling of “do I really look so male that this person was not even able to guess I’d be hurt by them referring to me as male?” takes several days to pass and is a very shitty feeling.
And of course, the whole thing of “identify as some gender”… At least I spent most of my life depressed and anxious precisely because I identified as male although I never was. Should not have built an identity on testicles and penis, probably :D A strong defence mechanism of the mind caused me to not have any clue of my actual gender. Now I’m living without depression for the first time in quarter a century.
But still: I was always transfeminine. Even when I still thought I was a cis guy and knew no better whatsoever. When I identified as male I was female. And now when I’ve changed how I identify, that has had zero effect on my gender. It’s easy to feel that calling it a gender identity kind of reduces it into a “decision”.
BTW, the meme in the post is a bit… Confusing, to say it nicely. One can alter one’s sex, but one cannot alter one’s gender. Maybe with some sort of lobotomy you could, but otherwise it’s immutable. A person who has “male” written in his brain as their gender when he is born is male all the way to his grave, regardless of whether he has testicles or ovaries. Or how much he tries to be something else. And a person who has “nonbinary” of some sort written in their brain is that sort of nonbinary throughout all their life. Regardless of what they decide. But of course you can get more understanding of your gender, and then alter the gender expression to better match with it.
I only know one (openly) trans person (as far as I know), and I’m able to remember her pronouns. I think I can probably manage a couple more people, at least.
Not a fan of neo-pronouns, though.