• Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        I dont have a social circle, I talk to random people online when I feel like I wanna be social. I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough. I didnt get the fear response activation vibe that he could murder me or wanted to. My name is Franzia, and it is a female name, I’m not a guy.

        • RubiksIsocahedron@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough.

          No shit - he didn’t want to lose his job.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        You mean like the majority of people?

        Not having someone you can rely on is the exception, not the rule.

        It is a great tool to perpetuate healthy human offspring.

        • RubiksIsocahedron@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          The point is that you’re denying me that social circle by lying to other people about me - at minimum misleading them about me, for your own narcissistic ends.

          • Bartsbigbugbag@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you. Social connections are forged, not given. How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition. There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion. It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it, and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.

            Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.

            • Acer@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists.

              I’ve had a friend like that. It was hard cutting her off, but in the end our whole social circle agreed that was the right thing to do after enduring so much of her abuse over the years. She was crazy manipulative and always the victim, just like this dude.

            • RubiksIsocahedron@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you.

              That does not give you the right to deny it in bad faith. If I do everything to earn that social circle, and I am still denied it, then you are acting in bad faith and must be punished - or you will permanently act in bad faith, and encourage others to do the same, virally.

              Social connections are forged, not given.

              The hell they aren’t. Every person I was raised with had their connections from birth. They were literally a birthright.

              And I busted my ass to forge those connections, and you all fucking mocked me for it.

              How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition.

              Are you mentally disabled or something?

              A manipulator tells them false things about you to others, and then those others repeat it as gossip. I mean, the fucking Bible talks about this.

              There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion.

              I don’t need to. People go out of their way to be like everyone in their social groups to avoid being rejected; therefore everyone in a social group is similar enough to represent the whole group. All remaining difference are meaningless.

              It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it

              The difference is that I didn’t cause your trauma, but you at least want to cause mine. You have a compulsive need to dominate me to cover for your own insecurities. I don’t cover my insecurities - I blast them at maximum volume in order to make sure you can’t avoid the consequence for causing my insecure condition.

              and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.

              I’m not anti-social - you are the assholes rejecting me.

              Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.

              Wrong. I have made the only choice that lets me survive. You idea of “healing” is actually my complete submission to you, which I will never give; that is the only “healing” you want. I don’t want your “healing”; you can go fuck yourself.

              • Bartsbigbugbag@lemmy.ml
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                1 year ago

                There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.

                I made my friends from those who others rejected, and it made all of us stronger for it. I specifically seek out those in need and offer myself to them, and those who do not fit in other social circles. None of my friends are like me, we are all very different, with very different lifestyles and goals, and we do not even agree on basic things, yet because we have forged bonds together, no amount of difference can break us apart.

                You assert many intentions to me, which is your right, however, it’s no surprise why you lack bonds when you treat people such and view the world through a warped, transactional point of view. There’s no brownie points in the real world, behaving like a human does not entitle you to friends. It is the bare minimum standard of mutual humanity. You must go farther than that.

                Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you? Why do you care what other people say about you? Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you, and what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you? Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature? How many social media accounts do you have? When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one? How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical? What are your goals for the immediate future? And further out?

                Cheers, my angry friend.

                • RubiksIsocahedron@reddthat.com
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                  1 year ago

                  There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.

                  This is absolute bullshit.

                  1. “Forge” has no clear definition here; this is just a weasel word used to justify arbitrary rejection in bad faith.
                  2. There is no such thing as “mutual vulnerability” - by definition, if one person is “vulnerable” the other person is psychologically compelled to attack them. Humans are as predator species, jackass.
                  3. I have no “mutual compatibility” with any human being, and cannot become compatible without throwing away my very soul.

                  a warped, transactional point of view.

                  Those are your transactions - “transactional” is your invention. I only adopted in the last couple of months because it’s the only thing you crazed, irrational motherfuckers understand. Anything you assholes do is less rational, less functional.

                  You must go farther than that.

                  I’ve gone much farther than that, only to be mocked for being gullible enough to believe that anyone would treat me well in return. Your insistence that I “must go farther than that” is simply your attempt to trick me into falling for that con again. What do I have to do to convince you assholes I’ll never be that gullible again?

                  Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you?

                  Why do you believe the massive list of names people called me throughout school weren’t lies? Because the only reason one would ask that question is if you believe that all of those names - including those that directly contradict each other - are true.

                  Why do you believe people wouldn’t simply adopt very successful strategies? People calling me names succeeded in making me modify my behavior; It would be zero-intelligence 8stupid* for anyone to witness that success and say to themselves, “I’m going to throw away that perfectly successful strategy that achieves my aims and instead do something completely unproven”.

                  Once on e bully did something to me in school, the entire school did it, almost immediately. It’s as if they didn’t have free wills - and I have yet to find any evidence that they gained that free will. I have seen a scientific paper recently that explains how mental laziness makes people gullible and prone to brainwashing.

                  Why do you care what other people say about you?

                  Because what people think drives what they do, and what people say spreads virally until no one has an original thought in their heads. It’s what they do that matters - and what they do is act in bad faith, destroy everything I own, and go out of their way to become and obstacle between me and everything need to survive.

                  Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you

                  Earth.

                  what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you?

                  Relocation is what started the abuse. Relocation made me an “invader”, a person who “didn’t belong here” and people were willing to kill to get rid of.

                  Moving again simply means there are two gangs of people trying to kill me.

                  Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature?

                  No, and no. I do not conceptualize “beauty”.

                  How many social media accounts do you have?

                  Two. I refuse to go on either Facebook or whatever Elon calls his garbage fire now.

                  When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one?

                  I never knew anyone. I cannot remember names. I’ve never been to a social event unless you count school itself.

                  How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical?

                  8+ hours - more on weekends. The moment I fail to improve myself is the moment the rest of the world catches up - and I die.

                  What are your goals for the immediate future?

                  Survive.

                  And further out?

                  Survive.

                  Cheers, my angry friend.

                  Don’t ever falsely accuse me of being your friend ever again.

                  • Bartsbigbugbag@lemmy.ml
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                    1 year ago

                    So, you’re extrapolating your entire worldview based on experiences you had during school, a period of most people’s life notorious for tribalist cliques and irrational behaviors? School sucked for me too, that’s why I finished and didn’t go back. I’ve had all the classics, I’ve been pantsed, had a swirly, been physically beaten, robbed, stolen from, rumors spread about me, catfished before catfishing was a term, etc etc.

                    School sucks, the structure of it sucks, it encourages such behaviors and is filled with hierarchies and domination. The banking model of education is inherently flawed and hinders development of critical thinking and empathy, for sure. That doesn’t mean that all of humanity is that way though.

                    You say you’ve never even been to a social event outside of school, and that you have no mutual compatibility with actions. You have no hobbies you could share with anyone, nor do you believe there is anyone with a shared experience of school that might be a potential point of rapport? What do you do when you go to the book store, do you glare at the cashier because of your assumptions regarding them? Or do you greet them warmly and ask them how they are with genuine desire to know?

                    And whether or not I am your friend, you are my comrade. I care about unique, interesting people, and while we may not share a worldview, you most certainly are a unique and interesting person.