I think my depression is getting worse because I’m not having regular sex but I’m too stressed to put in the effort for sex?
I have a loving wife who is all over me but sex just seems so awkward and I feel so vulnerable. I don’t know if it’s dysphoria still or what? I feel like my self-image gets in the way now too. I could lose some weight, take better care of myself. Put some more effort into my daily appearance. I’m just so exhausted from work, and the world at large.
I turned 36, I’m 6 years into transition and I feel like sexually wasting away. Seniors are probably getting it on more regularly than I am. I hate it.
I’ve tried therapy but I get so nervous talking about this stuff. Don’t really know where I’m going with this but it’s nice to get this off my chest.
In case my wife sees this, hi and I love you!
a thing ive been trying to internalize lately because otherwise i really fuck myself up:
comparison is the thief of joy
it doesnt really matter what other people are getting up to. what do you want to get up to? like really think about that. what do you want to do to people? what do you want them to do to you? who do you want to do those things with? you may find the hard part is answering those questions without taking others into account, but its important to understand your own desires unfiltered by the expectations of others. i know ive really struggled with that last part, a lot of us do. i hope you figure it out and claim the sex life of your dreams. you deserve it :3
Very wise words. I’ve always compared myself to others and it’s never done me any good. It’s not a motivator in the slightest.
I think I just need to get a therapist.
Taking caring of ourselves. It’s not about admonishing ourselves. It’s doing things that feel good, accepting ourselves and being forgiving of our own shortcomings. You don’t need to be an ideal version of yourself to heal in a lover’s arms. For me heartfelt empathy and affection is way hotter than a flat belly. Unfortunately it can be painfully hard to pull out of a harsh mindset. If you have the means, building trust with a therapist can help. It really helped me. Saved me even. Good luck and wishing you the best sex 💜
