Hey girls!
Seems Vivian motivated me to share this after all :3
Can’t believe I painted this back in addiction therapy years ago. Had no idea who I was, no real idea what trans actually means. According to the report one of my stupid goals was to actually flesh out my male persona, which didn’t feel complete for some reason, goddamn.
Guess what’s hidden under it :3
That is so incredible and the art is very moving. Thanks so much for showing it and sharing the story!
Forgive me for using this space to share a story of a very similar experience I had yesterday.
The preamble is that I have to move out soon due to a transphobic unsupportive parent who i have been caregiver to for the last 10 years. In the past 6 weeks I have had to condense my entire life into small piles so that i can pack, which means finally sorting through all my papers and shredding stuff. But one huge benefit is that i am finally able to collect all the poetry and lyrics that i wrote from the time when I was a kid up until now.
Yesterday I found a song I wrote when I was 17. The title was “Transitions” and it hit me so hard. I had no idea about actual transgender people other than mostly shitty media stereotypes. As i read the lyrics i started to freak out. There were some strong dysphoria vibes coming through. And i had even added chord notations to it so i must have already started teaching myself guitar by then.
I just had to go grab my guitar and try and play it. I had no idea what the original melody was but i made it work. It absolutely floored me that i keep finding evidence like this of what i was going through and these lyrics so far are the oldest physical evidence i have found that i was struggling with gender concepts and didn’t know why. And the glaringly mind boggling thing is that I somehow nailed that title. Transitions.
I am so glad you were able to make that kind of connection with your art. It is mind blowing how the brain works.
💜
Awww, please ping me if you ever get around to sharing it, sounds real interesting. What more could I wish for than my painting encouraging others to talk and share :3.
Wish you all the best in leaving that toxic place! That’s been one of the most important steps for me to finally get to find myself.
Art has sadly been a rather fleeting thing for me, really only made 2 pieces I feel something for. And a bunch of pencil drawings, mostly for the craft, though. Was pretty obsessed with drawing women, for some reason, hmmmm.
Oh, I’ve started journaling in 2016, haven’t dared to read through it yet, probably gonna be cringe as shit. Before that I only got memories.