I was 15. He was 22. He bought me take away food, alcohol and cigarettes for my company.
A decade later, he was my bosses boss. And harassed me at work.
He came from a wealthy family where he was the golden child, people around town know about his tastes but no one has come forward. His family are in denial.
That is not a particularly helpful way to engage with someone explaining what someone put them through.
If she did it doesnt seem like it would have done much to someone in his position, and may have carried risk for her. She doesnt owe us an explanation of how she handled things, regardless of how she navigated it or how it went.
In general when someone is explaining how they were harmed its generally not helpful to intergogate whether they handled it “correctly”. Being a victim or being in a position in life where it is easier for you to be a victim rarely leaves you with many good options, or makes it easy to do things the “right” way
Imagine if none of the victims nor their families reported on the Epstein pedophile ring, he would still be on that island trafficking children for sexual abuse to high profile executives to this day. Reporting works and end up in investigations and charges.
Thank you very much, I really appreciate that. I don’t always know the best way to approach things but I do my best to treat people with the same care I’d want from folks that I’m in community with
Again, that misses my point. Victims do not owe random people an explanation of how they handled things, and requesting an explanation in response to someone sharing a harm they endured is unhelpful. That is not an indictment of you or your character, it’s just important to me that people be able to express they were harmed without being subjected to questioning for it
Your second use of “him” implies we may be reading the comment differently. If I am understanding correctly they are a woman who was abused by a male superior at work.
Regardless, people do not owe the world perfect victimhood, and whether we treat someone’s statement of harm with compassion should not be predicated on an evaluation of whether they “did things right” in the wake of the abuses they suffered.
Its a vulnerable thing to say you were harmed. Let’s not interogate whether they performed victimhood correctly, and they dont owe us any details one way or another. It minimizes an expression of abuse that is generally not listened to in the first place.
Report them to who? Actual violent rapes get reported to the authorities all the time and never get prosecuted. Plus, age of consent laws vary between states and are often subject to “Romeo and Juliet” laws that take into account the gap between the consenting parties.
I think you may have a misunderstanding of how the legal system operates. They aren’t mandated to investigate and prosecute every instance where someone reports a crime, they get to pick and choose when and who they throw the book at.
Since the majority of authority figures are conservative men themselves, they often will take the side of the young men in these cases and choose to turn a blind eye. So reporting these crimes often ends up not bringing you any justice, and instead you end up being judged by the community for being sexually promiscuous.
I was 15. He was 22. He bought me take away food, alcohol and cigarettes for my company.
A decade later, he was my bosses boss. And harassed me at work.
He came from a wealthy family where he was the golden child, people around town know about his tastes but no one has come forward. His family are in denial.
Some people are just pure evil.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are in a better place now.
Did you not report him?
Like reporting people like this does anything.
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I’m getting a lot of reports on this. Chill on blaming the victims,
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Tell me you’re privileged without telling me you’re privileged
Crimes Unreported basically didn’t happen if the system doesn’t receive the report.
You did not just say that.
This is not up for debate. It is always rape if consent is not given, regardless of whether the authorities care or not.
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Hi, you’re right, but please report this kind of stuff.
Ironic what gets reported isn’t a crime but the real crime not getting reported is being protected
I think you need a break for awhile. You’re not getting it. I’m going to ban you for a few days.
That is not a particularly helpful way to engage with someone explaining what someone put them through.
If she did it doesnt seem like it would have done much to someone in his position, and may have carried risk for her. She doesnt owe us an explanation of how she handled things, regardless of how she navigated it or how it went.
In general when someone is explaining how they were harmed its generally not helpful to intergogate whether they handled it “correctly”. Being a victim or being in a position in life where it is easier for you to be a victim rarely leaves you with many good options, or makes it easy to do things the “right” way
Imagine if none of the victims nor their families reported on the Epstein pedophile ring, he would still be on that island trafficking children for sexual abuse to high profile executives to this day. Reporting works and end up in investigations and charges.
Good god this feels like the only place on the internet right now with decent, reasonable, human takes. Thanks for typing this
Thank you very much, I really appreciate that. I don’t always know the best way to approach things but I do my best to treat people with the same care I’d want from folks that I’m in community with
👑
❤️
I hope you have a lovely day my friend.
that implies kablez did not report him as no one including him came forward
Again, that misses my point. Victims do not owe random people an explanation of how they handled things, and requesting an explanation in response to someone sharing a harm they endured is unhelpful. That is not an indictment of you or your character, it’s just important to me that people be able to express they were harmed without being subjected to questioning for it
Your second use of “him” implies we may be reading the comment differently. If I am understanding correctly they are a woman who was abused by a male superior at work.
Regardless, people do not owe the world perfect victimhood, and whether we treat someone’s statement of harm with compassion should not be predicated on an evaluation of whether they “did things right” in the wake of the abuses they suffered.
Its a vulnerable thing to say you were harmed. Let’s not interogate whether they performed victimhood correctly, and they dont owe us any details one way or another. It minimizes an expression of abuse that is generally not listened to in the first place.
Report them to who? Actual violent rapes get reported to the authorities all the time and never get prosecuted. Plus, age of consent laws vary between states and are often subject to “Romeo and Juliet” laws that take into account the gap between the consenting parties.
I think you may have a misunderstanding of how the legal system operates. They aren’t mandated to investigate and prosecute every instance where someone reports a crime, they get to pick and choose when and who they throw the book at.
Since the majority of authority figures are conservative men themselves, they often will take the side of the young men in these cases and choose to turn a blind eye. So reporting these crimes often ends up not bringing you any justice, and instead you end up being judged by the community for being sexually promiscuous.