Learn to ride the waves. We have a different rhythm of existence. You can’t fight the cycle, but you can learn to work with it.
Some people are marathon runners, but we are sprinters. The trick is to break down marathons into many sprints, and take breaks by switching your marathons.
Just pick half a dozen things your meta-self wants to work on and stick with it. Instead of a bit of everything, we do a lot of everything, but one thing at a time.
Woah. If all what you say is true (your account is just one day old and you might be an internet troll for all I know, but if you were, I should not reply further, so if I reply, I have to assume that you are serious, but maybe it’s just me being paranoid), then I’m sorry to hear how life has been so far for you.
I don’t know how old you are, I would guess between 15 and 20, as it’s sounding like school is or was not too many years ago for you (and you are not a native English speaker, are you?)
“Not knowing the definition of a friend” sounds like a familiar thing to me from when I grew up. Teenage/very young adult times were the WORST times of my life. If I guessed your age roughly right, then - good news! Life only gets better from now on !
I had similar experience of not belonging properly to any group in my class back in school and being the weird one who is not avoided like the “outsiders”, but also not fitting anywhere properly. This also seems to be a common ADHD experience.
Well, after school you are free to choose your own path - and on the path you tend to find more people like yourself, with similar interests, and more open minded people, with different quirks. Some of them might eventually become friends. People who peaked in school are the true boring losers!
Either you are someone pushed into being socially an introvert by circumstances, or you might also have some autistic traits. ADHD and some form of autism often come together. You might want to research into that. Just had to mention this as a possibility.
If that does not apply to you, then in general - social cues are learnable, if it was just due to missed opportunity. I think I learned to “read” people and behavior of others pretty well, but was very insecure and inadequate as a teenager. It’s a matter of practice and self-confidence (which is also learnable, and it grows as you find your self-worth with increasing positive interactions with others and successes in life).
You should definitely not wait with therapy as long as you say you will, and do it once you have the opportunity. You seem to have a lot to unpack. And you SHOULD. You need to process all that crap and talk to other people. At the very least, the therapist can be like a paid friend. In the best case, they are actually good at their job and can do more than just listen and validate you and give you opinions, but also help you navigate your problems and difficulties better and try fixing them. Finding friends is a thing that just happens eventually and you can’t force, but finding a therapist is in your hands. If you are in a civilized country where you don’t have to pay it yourself - just go for it !
Also, you should check out /r/ADHD on Reddit, it’s a huge community (I wish there was more here on Lemmy, well I’m trying my best to make this a good place too, e.g. by replying), there you can see so many people sharing similar struggles, and exchanging ideas and celebrating successes. It was nice to find my “flock” and feel validated and understood. And others could give much better advice than I could, or provide more perspectives. I’m just one random dude you opened up a little to (I might also give bad advice, who knows).
The ADHD community on Mastodon is also pretty friendly and active, so you can go and try hanging there with the people!
I’m on lemmy for 15 days now( as you can see in the picture). But this one is 1 day old because I chose to shift to this instance. I’m on mastodon too.
I’ve known lemmy for more than a year but didn’t thought of opening an account because that time, the userbase, feed wasn’t like how I intended.
Recently I’ve decided to shift from centralised social media( facebook, twitter, reddit, telegram etc) to this kind of decentralised, medium userbased but filled with real people kind of social media. Because I felt the need to change.
I’m a male, currently 22. Definitely not a troll account.
And yes, English is not my native language.
I understand that have a lot to unpack. But ‘trust’ isn’t my best suite. Even with a psychiatrist or another known people. The things I’ve told about myself here is just the surface. So it isn’t that personal. I myself am searching if I really have any mental condition like ADHD.
I’ve never taken any kind of psychiatric medications before. But I’ve heard about a specific one, adderall. I’m looking forward to your speculations and advices about this specific medicine if you had taken any.
I’ve no intention to immorally get my hands on adderall just because I was hyped on getting better.
Psychiatrist is available in my hometown. But I’ve decided to just match my symptoms to any of the syndromes and to take prescribed medications for now.
My city makes me feel suffocated. Everytime I go out for a walk, I pray to God that I don’t encounter any known people( e.g. neighbors, relatives, classmates). Known people around me, those extrovert classmates, their presence makes me suffocated. I want to start all over again, with new sets of environment, new sets of people.
That’s why, opening myself up to a psychiatrist in my hometown is close to impossible for me.