Before his arrest this week in the killing of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, Mangione’s family desperately tried to find him, reaching out to former classmates and posting queries on social media.
My partner is stoic-adjacent (if that’s a thing; my description, not theirs) and it really bothers me. A lot of “I can control my emotions and choose how I act, you should try that” - yeah stop. We’re human. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to get angry as long as you’re able to vent your frustrations in a healthy way.
Repressing that shit will only make it worse when they eventually do come to the surface. You’re not a machine and you’re not better than those who don’t pretend to act like they are.
A lot of “I can control my emotions and choose how I act, you should try that” - yeah stop. We’re human. Emotions are normal.
Ye, that’s the point? The point is not to suppress emotions but to recognise them as they’re happening to you. It’s not even that there’s objective value assigned to the emotions, it’s simply so that you yourself can perform introspection of the kind “I did that action because I was furious. Now is that good or bad?”. But it’s still entirely okay to make a conscious decision of the form:
I’m gonna punch that motherfucker
Okay, stop, I am feeling fury right now, I shouldn’t allow just the emotion to guide me. Let’s think.
Okay, I thought this through, I’m gonna punch that motherfucker with purpose.
I don’t think there is a real stoic writer out there suggesting you supress your emotions. My interpretation was that it’s easy to be swayed by your own emotions, that it happens to everyone and is very human, and it’s egotistical to think otherwise.
Yeah i think this kind stoicism can also be used as an abusive tactic. Im not trying to armchair psych your rel btw, it also is just a really common mistake people make (mostly men) I certainly have made mistakes like that. And yeah repression is not good.
Just started a Brit show called Sweetpea - while the motivations for doing so are different, it seems like a potentially useful illustration of what can happen when you bottle up your emotions for too long.
My partner is stoic-adjacent (if that’s a thing; my description, not theirs) and it really bothers me. A lot of “I can control my emotions and choose how I act, you should try that” - yeah stop. We’re human. Emotions are normal. It’s okay to get angry as long as you’re able to vent your frustrations in a healthy way.
Repressing that shit will only make it worse when they eventually do come to the surface. You’re not a machine and you’re not better than those who don’t pretend to act like they are.
Ye, that’s the point? The point is not to suppress emotions but to recognise them as they’re happening to you. It’s not even that there’s objective value assigned to the emotions, it’s simply so that you yourself can perform introspection of the kind “I did that action because I was furious. Now is that good or bad?”. But it’s still entirely okay to make a conscious decision of the form:
I don’t think there is a real stoic writer out there suggesting you supress your emotions. My interpretation was that it’s easy to be swayed by your own emotions, that it happens to everyone and is very human, and it’s egotistical to think otherwise.
Yeah i think this kind stoicism can also be used as an abusive tactic. Im not trying to armchair psych your rel btw, it also is just a really common mistake people make (mostly men) I certainly have made mistakes like that. And yeah repression is not good.
Just started a Brit show called Sweetpea - while the motivations for doing so are different, it seems like a potentially useful illustration of what can happen when you bottle up your emotions for too long.