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Honestly wish I could do that. I’ve gotten so used to masking my inability to do small talk that I basically just say yes to everything. It’s super annoying and something I want to work on, but I dont really know how.
Its incorrect wording but i shorthanded it to ‘embrace the sociopathy’. Very nice little koan to drop on the programmed reaction i’ve had to natural ASD reactions
‘You can’t do that it’s sociopathic!’ No ma it’s ASD and i’m tired of pretending i’m not to save your face.
Since the acronym for sociopath is ASPD, I will often respond with something like “nuh uh, mine has one less letter”. Pretty niche, but when someone gets it, so good.
ASPD
that’s just a portal gun
most of the people claiming it’s sociopathic tend to be pretty controlling in my experience, which is ironic
I’m the opposite i can do small talk ( and even be charming while doing it) but, i just can’t STAND it and don’t know how to get out of it either so i’ve just taken to greyrocking whenever it comes up. For the record i don’t have asd ( some people said they had it in this section) just static encephalopathy ( brain damage) and am actually quite smart just I’ve got a lot special niche interests ( sci fi, fantasy and Gorillaz to name a few) and if i don’t know you ( aka you aren’t interested in these things and / or like small talk) then I don’t want to talk to you but, if you don’t do small talk and/ or are interested in something I’m interested in GREAT! IF YOU WANT TO TALK I’M DOWN FOR IT!
I’ve always wanted to get into the Gorillaz, but never found any of their music that I like, do you have a recommendation?
I say Demon Dayz or The Now Now.
Seems Germany would be heaven to this userbase.
Pose a question, expect a no-nonsense, factual answer. Don’t be offended but appreciate the candor and brevity. Get back to being productive so you can leave for a timely Feierabend like everyone else.
To be fair, this would probably still be considered very unusual in Germany. You’re not obligated to do a while song and dance, but uf you do this I would assume it’s a very deadpan joke.
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I was watching a YouTube video for Americans on what not to do when visiting Germany. I was thinking that I would love to live in Germany throughout the video for the reasons you stated.
Germans are indeed direct and that can be relieving for people who hate the small talk subtext of conversations. But even Germans have their pleasantries, especially in rural Southern Germany where you greet everyone you meet with “Servus!”
“Halo, Servus!” -Feli
American here and I am in constant jealousy of Germany.
American here and I am in constant jealousy of Germany.
have you visited? you might find your jealousy is just from ignorance and imagination of what germany might be like rather than what it is like.
have you seen america? most of the world is at least somewhat better
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Nope, you are right
This response strikes me as such an autistic way to admit the effectiveness of an argument to the contrary. It’s kind of beautiful.
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Yay I’m purdy :3
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I don’t know German so I am going to assume that a Feierabend is going on a bender with Guy Fieri
It means quitting time (technically Feier is celebrating and Abend is evening so you’re celebrating leaving work for the evening)
It is if you’re lucky.
I think it’s the Anglicism of manners. For some reason in English we demand one lie to protect everyone’s feelings.
For some reason in English we demand one lie to protect everyone’s feelings.
have you ever…interacted with a german? they are not, in fact, robots.
They have earned their reputation, good and bad.
Exceptions show nuance, but they don’t undermine this reputation to the point of irrelevance.
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No, I stand by it.
And if it’s reading comprehension you struggle with I’ll reword it for you:Germans have earned their reputation for being unusually robotic, cold, strict, pragmatic, etc.
There are still a lot of Germans that aren’t like that, but these exceptions don’t rule out the stereotype completely.
I’ll add that this reputation might be due to how the German social strata is ordered, what kind of person succeeds, rises to the top, and interacts with other people abroad. It’s not necessarily due to an overall difference in behavior broadly present in the total population.
It’s like how Americans have a ridiculously low level off trust compared to other developed countries, and how Russian largely don’t give a shit about anything beyond their doorstep. (Тебе больше всех надо?) Sure, generalizations can be unfair and at risk of being completely wrong, but I don’t think this one is.
“But, we’re like fAmIlY.”
Yeah bub, that’s not a selling point. I didn’t pick them either.
Vin Diesel appears in the corner saying “Uhm… What did you say?” while he is setting up a barbecue at the same time.
Yeah yeah, you are Groot. We know.
You stay, I go. No following!
Superman.
I love you guys
“I don’t like my family, either.”
Dudes ready for the office culture.
I cannot tolerate office culture. It’s so unbearably insincere and manipulative in my experience.
“If you could just do this stupid unnecessary thing, that’d be great.” sips coffee
I find the trick is to spin what I want to say into somthing positive. I can’t lie but I can avoid the questions, or just be vague.
In this situation. “Will you miss us?” (assuming I won’t)
“Perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together in the future” (not implying I actually want to)
“So long everyone!”(ignores the question, this may also end the conversation as youve given yourself an out)
“I’m sure I’ll meet many new people at my next opportunity” (to them it may imply you where happy to meet them, even if you where not)
In this case, he was never going to see these people again, so no need to play the neurotypical game of lying to spare their feelings.
Fair enough. You never know though. A place that fired me a years back in a city far from where I live now, is now my primary vendor. I need to work with them closely. So I am happy I didn’t burn too many bridges on the way out.
I say no but I’m cognizant it’s funny so I laugh and then everyone else laughs thinking I was joking. Win win.
neurotypical game of lying to spare their feelings
you say this like not deliberately hurting people’s feelings for zero reason at no cost to yourself is a bad thing
I love how you just COMPLETELY ignore the fact that the people have obviously not been enjoyable to be around for an extended amount of time
Having to spend time around people you don’t enjoy? perfectly fine
making those people a little sad once? how dare youdeleted by creator
yes, getting paid so you can buy food to not die, working is not voluntary for most people.
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The cost is dishonesty, which to me is significant.
so you’re saying you’re willing to hurt 20 people x amount in order to save yourself y amount of suffering. Literally nothing more neurotypical than that.
That’s not what I said. I just said the cost was significant, because you said “at no cost”. I didn’t say I would never pay it.
Also, twice now you’ve relied on wild hyperbolic statements to make your point. If I may offer some advice - I think avoiding those is better online, as they makes your comments seem like emotional knee-jerk, which undermines your credibility.
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“Perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together in the future.”
I couldn’t help but read that in a generic Vulcan voice that was a mix of Spock and the “We ain’t found shit!” guy.
The “we ain’t found shit” guy from Spaceballs was a Vulkan in Star Trek Voyager, Tim Russ played Tuvok. So really, you can read it in just Tuvok’s voice.
I was joking that Tim Russ complains that is the role he is known for. I personally know him more as Tuvok, but that’s because my parents wouldn’t let me watch Spaceballs, so I saw Voyager first
all right lemmy, it’s time for a fight
Tuvix didn’t deserve to die, and even without considering Tuvix Janeway is a war criminal
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Well it does say “infront if everyone”. I assumed that also includes coleuages. Co workers are not corporate overlords.
I’m not saying it’s a good thing, it’s another dumb micro ceremony regardless. And if you in a position where you don’t have to play the stupid games then I envy you. But my advice my be of some use for those us poor bastards who need to play along.
¯\(ツ)/¯
nvm me - i’m just wondering if you put yours in italics
This feels like the moment I realized that figuring out a way to say ‘thank you’ rather than ‘I’m sorry’ grants +1 CHA
One of my first mentors as a nurse was this old battle axe who had been around in the ER for decades. Tough as nails, hard as a rock. She was pushing morphine in some young girl’s IV. This girl was maybe 18 years old and having a good amount of pain, nothing crazy but needing medication. She was really anxious about it. She foolishly asked the question, “What’s the worst that could happen?” The nurse answered, “You could die.” No expression or sympathy or care. And she just kept on slowly pushing the morphine without another word as the patient visibly tried to suppress her terror.
If you’re in the ER I’m not sure what else you’d be expecting.
I think it depends on the situation. There’s a time to be a hardass and a time to be kind.
For example, 25 years ago I got a cut in hockey and went for stitches. Doctor said I needed a tetanus shot and I didn’t want it because I don’t like needles. Doctor proceeded to describe death by tetanus. It worked.
What I would be expecting is someone who gives a shit about how the patients feel at least enough to phrase it in a non terrifying way. She knew what she was doing. While what she said was true, the odds that the girl would die from it were staggeringly low. She was just basically an asshole and left that part out.
If you’re in the ER I’m not sure what else you’d be expecting.
‘bedside manner’
this thread seems to basically just be about cheering on people who cause others deliberate mental anguish.
Jesus what a mind job
That reminded me a bit of that time I was spending the summer at grandparent’s and went to the gas station to buy a few things I needed, and saw a magazine special dedicated to a tv show that was really popular with girls at that time, including a dvd and 3d anaglyph glasses. Picked it too.
Cute early 20s girl in the counter: “ohhh, do you like this show?? :D” Me: “no, I’m just buying it for the 3D glasses for using them with Minecraft” girl: “oh okay :/”
me, almost a week later, playing Minecraft at 3 or 4 AM: “wait, was that flirty?”
Should have invited her to play Minecraft
No, show her your Bionicle collection.
Sounds like she wasn’t into that
Never ask questions you don’t want an honest answer to.
So many managers are convinced their employees need to feel more connected to the business, or miss the office and the team.
It does feel like they want to make you feel at home at work. It’s disgusting.
If work feels like home. You had a fucked up childhood and I’m sorry you went through that.
I mean. You feel bad for people just cuz they like their job?
No matter how good your job is, it will never compare to the innocent, carefreeness and happiness you felt when you were in your childhood. (If it was a good one)
This isn’t an anti-work sentiment. I love my job.
But it is like comparing having a great death to finding inner peace. Even the worst version of the one is still better than the best version of the other.
Lots of people had crappy childhoods though.
Yes and that’s the ol “I’m sorry you went through that”…
It was the same on Reddit. Antiwork culture or something (I’m not in the loop), which is reasonable to an extent, but people still struggle to acknowledge that it is possible to have careers and jobs that are extremely fulfilling to them, even if it’s under a company. I work in healthcare IT and I enjoy it a lot. And I’ll even say I enjoy the corpo culture-improving events that IT management holds. I like the people around me. I’d rather work feel like home than feel like slaving away in an emerald mine 8 hours a day.
Edit: I wanna say that at my last job, it was very much trying to get us to feel connected to the company and the profits. That really doesn’t get through to me, I couldn’t care less about the company lol. If anything at a job, I’ll be connected to coworkers and people around me that I spend 8 hours a day with. The best company culture imo isn’t to get the employees to simp over the company, but to make it enjoyable for employees to be around each other.
Exactly this. I still have several close friends from my big corporate IT job even though I quit in 1992 to start my own business. We had a blast at work, which was the only thing that made the hours and stress bearable. Those people were my tribe. I couldn’t care less about the company other than to hope it does well for my pension’s sake.
If work feels like home.
at home, not like home. theres a pretty significant difference.
This is why it’s tragic only one in three people with autism have jobs. Where else are you going to get this level of honesty?
Hah, I used to be like that in school, but that didn’t go well at all. After all those years of having to keep quiet I’ve kinda lost that ability to be so straightforward. I wish it was normal for people to say what they think even if it isn’t nice.
Image Transcription:
X/Twitter post by user merlot mami @KendrasUsername reading: It’s our hilarious interns last day. He’s autistic and a super straight shooter. My VP asked him in front of everyone on his way out “you gonna miss this place & the people at all?” and he said “Um…no” and walked out.
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
Good human
Thank you, fellow human. 🤖
Hehe, calling it “X/Twitter” now. Nice way to address the complaints while keeping reference to the new branding.
I still prefer Twitter, but I can respect that.
I was listening to NPR yesterday and the reporter kept referring to it as “X, now rebranded Twitter.” What else can you do? If you just say “X” nobody knows what the devil you’re talking about. It’s like “the artist formally known as Prince.” Forever awkward.
The New York Times actually referred to it as “the service formerly known as Twitter”. I love it, we should all follow suit!
I’d rather call it something else (I’m enjoying Xitter, pronounced Shitter), but for the purpose of ease of use I transcribe it as X/Twitter so as to hopefully confuse people as little as possible.
In casual conversation I call X posts Xcrements
His “straight shooter” game is Hitscan.
“Miss? No need to even take the shot, now.”
This is often why autistic people don’t climb the ranks in technical organisations, even if we are much better at our jobs. Some places create technical specialist roles that are equivalent status but there is a premium on leadership qualities rather than technical excellence.
The Egyptians built the pyramids by moving huge blocks of stone on skids. This was achieved by organising vast amounts of manpower. What they needed was some autistic people to point out that only a handful of people are required if you use some wheels.
Your post is obviously super self-serving, but I wanted to note:
there is a premium on leadership qualities rather than technical excellence.
There is a distinction between leadership and management. Both are, in fact, important. And technical excellence is not useful if its not applied in the right direction.
only a handful of people
doesn’t seem like that was really the point. the point was to waste resources on a pointless glorifying memorial – if wheels made it go faster, they would have built more or bigger.
Found the aspiring manager!
what i said was theres value to leadership and to management and if you read between the very visible lines I added that part of their role is determining a coherent path to follow. Thats not to say there are not bad leaders (like those who built the pyramids), or bad leaders (like elon musk, who has no coherent vision). Its also no to say there are not bad managers (like Biden, who seems to barely be at the helm day-to-day) or bad managers (like Elon musk, who does not have the organizational capability and is therefore incompetent).
Pretending that a mass of smart or skilled individuals will spontaneously organize and not be torn apart by internal disagreements is possible, but rare. Look at bands. The beatles really had 7 good years between stardom and shit-hitting-fan. They did really good individual work but they didnt build a pyramid. In contrast, look at linux: whatever technical talent Linux has is outstripped by far by the power of his vision and his standards for how the system must evolve. He, like elon, is famous for being a dick: Linus still gets volunteers.
I don’t disagree. Management and leadership is indispensable for organisation of large groups of people who are attempting to achieve a singular objective. There are important distinctions between the different styles of thinking and operating. The ‘social animal’ is characterised by charisma and ability to persuade, the ‘creative’ is characterised by the ability to think logically and imagine. The reason everyone knows the name Jobs and doesn’t know Wozniak is because Jobs is the charismatic influencer and takes credit for the work of Wozniak. In the case of Apple, it seems they have managed the balance between the styles of thinking to their great advantage but that isn’t the case in most places. Political and business people still hold much more power due to their ability to persuade and deceive. This is changing due to the influence of technology, the bailiwick of the creative type. There ought to be balance in our decision making or we end up falling under the spell of some charismatic psychopath.
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