The other politician: Everyone is mean to me and calls me weird. They’re STUPID. Not like my really good friend who just gave me money. The best friend. Amazing friend. I’m putting them in a position of power.

Also I want literally the opposite of everything good on literally every single policy available

(Except maybe abortion; I’ve got some experience with that one and let me tell you it’s a life saver. I won’t stop my allies from making it illegal, nothing like that, but personally I can definitely say I’m a fan.)