Hi all.
I’ll try and be succinct but as I’m sure you all realize that’s often easier said than done.
I don’t feel like I ever hear my fellow ADHDers discuss how negative an experience hyperfocusing can be.
First off, I never feel like I’m ‘enjoying’ myself when I hyperfocus. It feels a lot like I’m dreaming. Time moves weirdly, all my senses go askew, and it never feels like I’m in-control.
Then when the focus fades for whatever reason, I feel exhausted. I usually have a headache from the hours of intent concentration. Oftentimes I haven’t eaten, had a drink or used the toilet. As I start to come out of it I often feel quite confused and borderline hungover.
It gives me such an existential crisis. An activity is either so boring I can’t summon myself to engage with it or it’s so absolutely engrossing that it feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse.
And when I come out of it, to an extent I do feel as if I’ve been consumed. I don’t feel happy or satisfied or fulfilled. I feel tired, confused and uncomfortable.
Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any advice?
To offer the other perspective, I usually enjoy the hyperfocus phases. While I often can’t choose what I will hyperfocus on, 9 out of 10 times it will either me something that needs to be done that is on my mind or something I really want to do that my mind kept circling around until it finally gets hijacked to do only this one thing. Rarely is it something I don’t like.
Hyperfocus for me happens fairly frequently if the circumstances are there. That is quiet alone time while not under huge stress. That’s when that usually happens for me. So in a not too busy week it might happen 5 out of 7 days roughly. Sometimes daily and sometimes like once a week or so. Usually on my day off or slowest day of the week.
Since it happens so often I prepared ready to drink beverages in my office and other places that my mind will allow me to grab while focusing. Same for healthy snacks. Usually nuts.
This keeps the exhaustion and headaches in check for the most part. Also not living alone helps. If I disappear in the shed or my office or in the garden for too long my wife will usually check in on me.
But most of it just feels good. If the focus goes to a hobby activity or researching into a topic I find interesting. To me it’s just a great time. I might regret not having done more chores instead of 8 hours of building a miniature castle ruin. But at least I had fun.
If the focus goes to something that needs to be done like work related stuff then afterwards it feels good to have it off the list. I’ll feel exhausted but productive. Often I might have overdone the task and it could have been done way less thoroughly. But at least it’s done and usually done well.
The only issue is if it goes to something that isn’t useful nor interesting. The whole time I wonder why the fuck am I even doing this but I can’t stop. This rarely happens which I am grateful for. It’s really annoying when it does though and I feel for everyone who gets this regularly.
I don’t subscribe to it being a super power even though I experience it as mostly beneficial to slightly annoying. It would be if we could choose what I focus on and when. But we can’t, so it isn’t. It just grabs you and you are along for the ride so hope you like where it’s going. I’m just lucky that for me it usually works out.