We’re shaking.

“Security scare.” Oh, for fucks sake.

Poop from a butt.

When fucking TMZ is doing more for American journalism than the NYT, WaPo, AP, etc., then you know the fourth estate is officially broken beyond repair.

I wonder if getting paid by Russia to be a giant fucking pest on the internet is worth it.

Now now, let’s be fair. He’s not a drunk anymore. Thanks to the massive amount of cocaine he snorts on a daily basis, he is now completely immune to the effects of alcohol.

Sputnik…lol.

Iran is about to be the first country on earth to weaponize influenza A.

Ah yes, it’s TOTALLY the alcohol use that’s causing the paranoia, and couldn’t possibly be from any other substance.

While I absolutely don’t disagree with you regarding the US doing insane, evil shit, I also think you’re giving this administration WAYYY too much credit. We have never seen incompetence like this in the executive branch. Every move they’ve made since taking office, both foreign and domestic, reeks of desperation and panic, with no plan whatsoever. It is absolute amateurism. So no, I disagree that this is standard operation for the US. It’s much worse.

Some chick in Brazil is about to spill the beans on how many children Trump raped. So don’t be surprised if Tehran gets turned into a glowing glass bowl in a few days. We’ll probably stage a land invasion of Cuba too, just to make sure everyone is completely distracted.

It’s Sunday morning, and the news is here to remind you that this dumb fucking war, started by dumb fucking subhuman trash, is still happening. Yay.

Guys, I think this fucking prick is still alive. And he really wants to use a nuke.

Shut the fuck up, Russia.

Yeah, just a quick question for Israel; what in the actual fucking fuck is wrong with you fuckers?

Womp womp.

This article needs more hashtags. Also, all I saw in the headline was “FIRE CUBAN DOCTORS.” Took me a few more glances to notice the inexplicably smaller print.

Yeah, I bet dads in Iran don’t even check in on their son’s pornhub search history. Fucking heathens.

One day we’ll all look back at this time and remember the heroes who stood up in unison and proclaimed, “WE ARE CONCERNED.” Their concerns and strongly worded letters will echo through history.

What the fuck is this Russian propaganda horseshit doing on my feed?