If you insist!

Tankies: “B-but now we can’t swing the election to Trump with our constant whining and unrealistic demands!”

Good lord, just let people DIE. Imagine what a rotten place this would be if people with outdated mindsets continued to control the world decades or even centuries after their expiration dates. People were already angry about 80 year old presidential candidates… what happens when they’re 120, or 150?

Bye bye, Karen.

“Tolerate,” my ass. I’m paying the three dollars a month for ad-free Prime, because I’m not watching ads during an election year. The damn election is stressful enough as it is.

Prime Video is just barely worth the price, but now that all the Stephen J. Cannell shows have been moved to Shout Factory TV, I’m reconsidering. Between that and all the shows on Freevee (uh, what part of “ad free viewing” don’t you understand?), the only tangible benefit I get from Amazon Prime is free shipping… and that free shipping isn’t as fast as it used to be before the pandemic.

Judging from the amount of kids he’s got, I think Elon’s been “done” enough.

The whole country going insane makes me feel like I’M insane, because a rational world view no longer applies.

From Jimmy Kimmel: “Usha is Hindi for ‘unsatisfied woman.’”

After sacrificing JD Vance to a volcano, the gods showed their displeasure by giving mankind seven years of plague and pestilence.

With friends like those, who needs enemas? (I know, Onion headline. Still, I’m sure there are plenty of people just like him all over the world. Try again ki- Moo hoo ha ha ha!)

Yep, I saw them coming in. Works well enough for me… Brazilians make the best Sega Genesis games!

You’re a drip. I buy DVDs used from pawn shops and garage sales. I’m leaving a mouse-sized carbon footprint; there’s no “toxic trash” that didn’t already exist.

“When they go low, we go high! Ah, that brilliant political strategy that worked so well for the Democrats in 2016!” - Ronny Chieng

I haven’t given up on DVDs. Don’t assume we’ve all abandoned the disc format, because I’m certain many of us still use them.

Do you even know who your opponent is? Do you know what day it is? Point to the cow in this picture. No, that’s a horse.

I don’t think he’s actually eligible. He was born in South Africa.

He should be the first living entity to be shot THROUGH Mars.

Maybe if he was smart, he’d just give up on the social network and sell it off to someone else. But he’s not smart, so he’ll keep sinking money into it until cooler heads in the company prevail. The era of social media dominance, I’m sorry to say, is over.

Be thorough! Surround him with bulletproof glass from all angles, and make sure there’s no air holes where bullets could get through. He will be completely impervious to both bullets and oxygen!