It looks like taxes increase and any kind of post-life planning can be done with a few legal filings rather than getting married. Is there any real benefit? It kinda seems like it’s just a way to trap people in relationships, probably traditionally, the woman.
Not an expert, but there is a lot less ground to legally challenge the partnership if a couple is married. If a couple isn’t married and one of them suddenly dies without a will or some sort of similar situation, the deceased’s family can fight for everything from how their funeral is executed, custody of children, or even control of finances. Obviously it would involve some sort of legal intervention, but marriage would supercede any familial relationships in most cases. I’m not sure how common it is, but I’ve definitely heard stories about this in gay relationships where estranged family ends up getting legal guardianship of children because the parents weren’t officially married and one died.
I’m married and, though I don’t think I can numerate all the ways, we are definitely more financially stable than we were when we were just dating. Even just the convenience of being able to do certain legal and medical stuff on my partner’s behalf makes a big difference. And that’s isn’t to say it’s for everyone, but it is worth investigating if you have specific concerns.
Are they gay relationships with kids from a previous relationship? Because surely if they adopted them then the living person is still a parent and someone’s family can’t just take them
From what I’ve read, biological parentage can get preference even if the child had been living in another household. You’d think what you said would be the case, but state legal opinions are not a thing I would be super trusting of if I were in that position given how our rights are in a precarious position, to say the least. IANAL, but everyone should write a will. That’s better than letting lawyers and judges guess at what you want.
biological parentage can get preference even if the child had been living in another household.
I understand this but if both gay people adopted together they’re both equal parents.
If you’re saying gay 2 adopted gay 1s blood child and gay 2 lost that kid that seems a little sus. I guess I could see it being a legal battle especially in the United States
In the US, one big advantage is that you can add your spouse as a dependent under your medical insurance plan you get through your employer. Since we don’t have a public option, this is significantly cheaper compared to them getting their own plan via Obamacare.
It’s possible to add a domestic partner in some states, but they really make it a pain in the ass to do so, if you’re eligible by living in one of those states to begin with.
Can’t be compelled to testify against a spouse
Isn’t that “you have the right to remain silent etc” stuff on TV shows meant to protect yanks from testifying against anyone they don’t want to testify against?
It’s generally intended only as a protection against self incrimination. If prosecutors want to force your testimony, they can grant you limited immunity from prosecution and you can be compelled to testify. Of course it gets way more complicated than that, and I’m not a lawyer.
One benefit is that if you are a US citizen, and your spouse is not, you don’t have to wait as many years to apply for citizenship. It can also help your application, as long as you are able to provide sufficient evidence that the relationship is genuine and not just to hasten the application. (Still ungodly expensive and difficult to get citizenship though – the idea that you “just marry” someone is an utter myth.)
Navigating credit and finances is easier.
It can be easier to get access to be there for each other during a health crisis, and I know my parents have appreciated how much help their son-in-law has given them when they need moral support during medical appointments, etc. Sometimes he’s been there for them when I am unable.
My husband and I didn’t marry for these reasons, though. We had been in a monogamous co-habitative relationship for five years leading up to the proposal, and it was more for customary/cultural reasons. You’re right that the practical benefits are pretty marginal.
It kinda seems like it’s just a way to trap people in relationships, probably traditionally, the woman
It can be, yeah. I think this is an ongoing problem that was even worse in the past. I disagree that it is “just” why people marry, though. I was fortunate to have parents who are married, but it was always clear they were both equal partners in the relationship. Didn’t really subscribe to traditional gender roles and such. I’m really lucky.
It’s always awkward when someone will ask me, “Who’s the woman in the relationship?” Like, what kind of question is that? But yeah, there are a lot of people who unfortunately do have this idea of ownership. Terms like “trophy wife” seem so problematic to me, like wtf bro.
Gonna finish by adding there are many different ways a relationship can look, and marriage is just one of them. I think if it’s consensual and equitable, it can be a beautiful thing, but so can many other types of relationships. It made sense for my husband and I, but it probably doesn’t make sense to a whole lot of people, and that’s fine. I think no one should ever feel pressured to get married or not to get married.
Marriage tax penalties usually affect high income, especially where both spouses make a lot. In many cases taxes go down.
I was married (now divorced) and ours definitely went up. We both made about 45k at the time.
If you both make around the same, you’ll see it go up. If you make vastly different amounts (such as by having only one income), it’ll go down.
American marriage tax codes are written to benefit the sort of couple with a stay-at-home-spouse. Having one person without an income (or with a significantly lower income) in the marriage effectively pulls you down in the tax brackets as a whole.
Mine went down, for sure, but I’m a sole earner.
Mellvar posted a bunch, but ones like immigration and naturalization are huge, as the process for becoming a citizen- especially while of working age- is huge. Having your husband or wife by your side and not limited to trips across the border once a month is really nice.
